He’s not looking for a reason to leave, but if you continue
to let your doubt overpower the feelings that you have for him, he just might.
I’ve done this time and time again in relationships; created a scenario in my
head, how I imagine him leaving, walking out of my life only to see him years
later as a stranger, as a person who looks familiar, but doesn’t feel familiar.
I’ve learned that this has nothing to do with him and everything to do with
you.
He treats you the way you deserve to be treated, and you’ve
waited so long for that to happen. To find someone who loves you for who you
are, who sees your flaws as something to embrace rather than to hide, someone
who truly wants the best for you, supports you when you’re at your worst, but
more importantly at your best, because he loves without envy or jealousy or any
other needless behavior that sours your taste of happiness. He brings you
happiness rather than depleting the source of it you already have within
yourself.
And because he’s everything you’ve ever wanted, you’re
scared. You’re scared that if you haven’t already given him a reason to leave
he will find one.
And then you begin to convince yourself that he’s searching
for one, for a reason to leave you, but it’s you who’s searching. You’re
looking for the reason as to why he’s with you. And when you can’t find it, you
begin to think of every reason as to why he shouldn’t be. Why he shouldn’t be
with you, and why he should be with someone else.
Because every insecurity you could ever imagine, his
perfection brings it out of you. You think he’s too good for you, that he could
find someone prettier, funnier, smarter, someone who would give him the world
even if it meant giving away herself, but that’s what is so beautiful about
you. That you’ve found someone you want to give everything to, and you still
maintain every part of yourself while doing so.
You’re scared that someone could love you the same way you
love them, but he’s not waiting for a reason to leave, he’s waiting for you to
accept that he chooses to stay.
He chooses to love you, and he chooses to have you in his
life. Everything he does for you, he chooses to. Because people choose who they
love, and he chose you.
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