You are Good Enough

Why do humans have a tendency to look at ourselves through the wrong kind of lens, through these negative, self defeating lenses? Why do we create perceptions of who we are and what we can offer based on a vision of ourselves that is often centred around our faults!

Too often I hear the people around me refer to themselves as not being “good enough”. This deeply saddens me and frustrates me because I believe we are all good enough.

You are good enough! Look at yourself in the mirror right now and tell yourself that you are good enough! Get up from your tablet, phone, computer and tell yourself you are good enough. 

You have a heart that beats and feels without question because if mine does so does yours. 

You are good enough because that beating heart gives you the ability to love someone in the most profound way. Really that is all that matters. Your past does not matter, your faults do not matter – the only thing that matters is the here and now. 

The next time you allow for your mistakes to control how motivated you feel, remember … the honest-to-good people, the ones who aren’t ONLY social acquaintances, the ones who will inspire you and challenge you and uplift you, those people will never see you through the lens of your mistakes. You are the only person who will do that. Those people see you through real living colour life. 

The person who admires you will love you for you who are, mistakes included. Burdens and baggage and insecurity, guess what none of that phases the heart. It only phases the mind. 

The person you think you “aren’t good enough” for will accept in your heart and nothing else; that is what defines you in their eyes. You are good enough to them because you have within you this radiant ability to love. You are good enough to them because you have within you this overwhelming ability to feel. 

Stop using your mind to persuade yourself otherwise and give all of the burden, all of the doubt, all of the judgment to your heart, for it is powerful.

Your heart is more beautiful than your past. Your heart is greater than your doubt. Your heart can carry your baggage on its back and will still run circles around the freckles in the eyes of the person you admire. Your heart is stronger than your mistakes, and it is bigger than your negativity. Your heart is amazing. It is resilient. It will never, ever change, or spoil, or lose its ability to give all of itself to someone. It is capable of love, no matter what, and that is all that someone will see within you – that is all that someone will fall in love in.

Give it freely, for it is good enough

Calgary Marathon Recap - I am a Sub 4 Marathoner

So May 26, 2013 came and went, the day I ran the Calgary Marathon.

The week leading up to my marathon I had all kinds of emotions floating around, what if I don’t hit my goal, what if I hit my goal, what if I totally flake out and have to take a DNF, what if I don’t even start! My mind was driving me insane!!

Tuesday I woke up and had a really bad sore throat and cough and I was like oh my gosh this can’t be happening to me right now I cannot be getting sick. I spent the week willing myself to be better.

Saturday I went to bed and I surprisingly slept through the night, well after I managed to fall asleep because I think I spent a good two hours having a coughing attack.

Sunday morning I woke and I was nervous as heck. I was having trouble getting food into me and I could hardly tie my shoe laces because my hands kept shacking and I couldn't stop coughing. I made my way down to the start line and all that was going through my head was one foot in front of the other. I found the 3:30 pace bunny and I decided that if I could keep pace with him I would be make my time goal no problem. As the starting gun went off I said to myself “Tiara focus, this is just a run”! As we passed the first km mark I looked down to see my pace and thought to myself oh my gosh this pace bunny is going wayyyy too fast we are running a 7’48” mile. Everything was going great for me on the run until I hit the very first BIG hill and then things started going terribly wrong my left hamstring started cramping up and I was kicking myself for skipping water stations and I was having trouble breathing through my coughing fits! So I made the decision to stop running through the water stations and walk through them to get Gatorade into me instead of all over me. 

Upon coming up on the 10km mark I looked down at my watch and saw that I had slowed down a great deal and was now running an 8’12” and was not on target to hit my Boston Qualifying time rather I was about 2 minutes off from my target time. Instead of beating myself up I told myself that I still had 32 km’s to make up this time and to keep pushing forward. At the halfway point I looked at my time and I realized that I was 6 minutes off my Boston pace and this caused me to have a little bit of a break down, or a 5 minute cry session. I started crying right there in the middle of the race and almost decided to pull out because I was not going to hit my goal and then somewhere deep down my own voice was yelling at me “Tiara you have this, you are still on pace to run a sub 4 marathon and even better you are still going to set a personal best for yourself” I forced myself to keep running. As my body started to fatigue and as it wanted to give up I told myself keep running you will hit a water station in 3 km’s and you can walk through it but you have to keep running to the next water station.

As I entered Memorial drive my common lunch time running area I had 10km’s left to go and I said to myself “Tiara this is your area, this is where you need to own the race” I knew my legs were sore and I knew I wanted to stop running so I started biting my lip to focus the pain elsewhere and I kept pushing myself. I made it through Memorial and had 3km’s left to go when a TNT coach came up to me grabbed me by the hand and told me I was doing great, I started crying and said “I needed to finish 5 minutes ago to hit my time goal” he said "I know you did but you know what keep running because you are going to PB and that is the most important thing, today wasn’t your day but maybe tomorrow is, there is always another run”. 

As I entered my last two km’s I so badly wanted to just walk the rest of the way and someone from behind me came put her hand on my back and said “I have been chasing you almost the entire way, you are my motivation and my inspiration keep running because you are going to sub 4 this” and all of a sudden I hit a second wind and my legs wanted to move. As I entered the finishing shoot I saw my mom standing there waving at me and cheering me on and I knew I had the drive in me to do a sub 4. As I crossed the finish line I looked at my time and it read 3:57:55 and I was disappointed in myself for not hitting my BQ but also so proud of myself for finishing a marathon in under 4 hours.

As the results rolled in yesterday I realized that I had finished in the top 10 in my division and was even more proud of myself. Top 10 finish in my division is incredible.

One aspect of the Calgary Marathon I loved was that our name was wrote on our bibs so as we were running through the communities and people were out on their lawns cheering us on you would hear a random “Go Tiara” “You got this Tiara” “Run Strong Tiara” and hearing my name it would push me to push harder and faster!! It was great community support and it made me love Calgary even more.

Now it is time to refocus my goals and push to Boston Qualify in Edmonton on August 25. It’ll be my last chance to qualify for Boston for 2014 and I am even more determined now to hit this goal. I have the endurance I know I can run the 26.2 miles now it is time to work on maintaining my speed!

Do you have any advice for me as I start training for Edmonton? Have you qualified for Boston, if so what advice can you give me for race day? Or even for training?

Hope you continue joining me on this wonderful journey to Boston. 

Day 14 - 30 Day Challenge

What was your favorite race you've run?

My favorite race to run is most defiantly the Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco, I don’t think any race will be able to compare to this race especially the memories I made on this race. It was also my first marathon and our first anything always sticks with us the most.

The Nike Women’s Marathon was my very first marathon and I ran it as a Nike Women’s Ambassador along with Karen, Elizabeth, Nerissa and Renisha. My Sisters In Nike!!

Nike Women hosted us in San Fran and we stayed at an amazing hotel in the heart of downtown, Sir Francis Drake.

If you ever plan on running the Nike Women’s Marathon make sure you stay downtown close to the expo and NikeTown. The expo is amazing. Saturday morning Karen and I woke up and got to the expo for the opening, it fills up rather fast. We sampled Nuun hydration tabs and I found my favorite one, the iced tea. I have a love of coffee and having this one really helps me push my runs, maybe it is the tiny but of caffeine in it. We also stood in line to get makeovers from Neutrogena and get our hair done by Paul Mitchell but we were running out of time so this didn't happen, even though it would have been pretty cool. The expo for Nike Women’s Marathon is amazing!!

The Nike Women’s Marathon course is a rather hilly to run, if you plan on running it make sure you have hill training done, they are totally do-able but it is far off from being a flat course. 

One of my favorite parts was running through this community after coming up the big hill. I didn't have any friends on course cheering me on and there is so many people outside their houses cheering you on, it was really cool to have encouragement. I also had this habit of queen waving at random people, it made me feel like I had people on course cheering for me haha. 

I remember this one kid was dressed up as Spider-man and he was handing out candy to the runners going by, I thought it was super cute. It was also nice to get something sweet in you along the course he was located around mile 14ish and it was a great pick me up.

There were also awesome signs on course, one of my favorites was "You are NOT almost there" at mile 1. I laughed however if he had that at mile 22 I would have been sad. I also saw one that said "I bought you a car, you can stop running now" I love the encouragement you get on a marathon route, it is nothing like a 10k run. 

The course ends along the ocean. As you run the ocean is on your right side. I wanted nothing more than to run off course and jump in the ocean but that probably wasn't the best idea at the time so I  talked myself out of it.

As you finish the course and come into the finishers shoot and cross that line you are met by the San Fran firemen handing you the coveted Tiffany’s necklace. Honestly, I didn't care about the firemen all I wanted was food and that necklace. 

I think the Tiffany’s necklace is a huge item that sets Nike Women’s Marathon apart from other races out there. It is something I wear often and reminds me of the goal I set for myself and the goal I accomplished. I look at it and it reminds me of the friendships forged that weekend and the memories made. 

I am excited to run Nike Women’s Marathon again in October. Hope to see you there and run it with you!!

Day 7 - 30 Day Challenge

7. Who supports you the most with your running goals and why do you pick them?

Who supports me the most with my running goals. Honestly, I can’t just pick just one person. I have such an amazing support system when it comes to my goals.

My boyfriend Mike. When I trained for my first marathon he did every training run with me, he is faster than I am so we would start together and  meet back at the car but my really long miles (18, 20, 22) he ran them with me. He even let me yell at him in the trail at one point screaming at him about how hard this was, than he just hugged me and told me everything was going to be ok and at that point I knew he was exactly what I needed to get through my first marathon training.

Jamie my running buddy here in Calgary is one of my favorite people to run with. We started running together when I first came to Trican in 2011 and together we have improved our pace and endurance together. When I decided to sign up for my first marathon she was there encouraging me the entire way.

My dear friend Autumn who was once my encouragement for shooting the most tequila now encourages me to get my running shoes laced up and my butt out the door. Autumn will forever be my best friend and we have had many adventures together I hope our next adventure will be the Nike Women's Marathon in San Fran this year. There is nobody I would want to run it with more than my Jamaican Bacon. 

Last but certainly not least Karen and Elizabeth, sometimes I don’t think that Nike Women’s Marathon would have been the same without them. I haven’t even known these two ladies a year yet but when I need a pick me up or encouragement or even someone to vent to I know these girls are always there willing to listen. They are my running sisters  for life.

I think it is so important that you surround yourself with positive people, people who are willing to push you towards your goals and who want to see you achieve. A wise man once told me “If you want to soar with the eagles, you have to stop hanging with the turkeys” I think the support system I have surrounded myself with has allowed me to push my running to new limits. 

Day 1 - 30 Day Run Challenge

When did you start running and why?

Elizabeth and I on the last mile of the Nike Women's Marathon

I started running in high school we had to run for cross training when I was on my swim team, but once I got injured I didn't run or swim anymore and due to being very active than not being able to be active I started to gain a lot of weight.

In 2009 I decided I needed to start running again, I was very overweight and I hated the way I looked. When I first started running I would literally run for like 30 seconds and walk for a song than when the next song started I would run for 30 seconds again, it was so hard for me. I actually remember the first time I tried to run a 5k. I got a km away from home and thought I was going to die. I called my friend and had her pick me up.

In October 2012 I finished my very first marathon and now I am training to qualify Boston at the Calgary Marathon.

Never in a million years did I ever think I would run a marathon let alone start training to qualify for Boston. However, when Nike Women contact me in May to be an Ambassador and run the Nike Women’s Marathon I was up for the challenge, the training was hard you can read about that in my past blog post. 

While running the marathon around mile 18 I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish, I texted my friend Elizabeth and she gave me encouragement and met me at the last mile and ran it with me she is one of the reasons I complete my first marathon.

Now running is my favorite pass time and I can't wait to run my next marathon and run the Nike Women's Marathon again with my #SistersInNike in May.