I was going through my computer pictues recently and I was seeing what was in there. I came upon this pictures. It says "What if I don't want help? What if I just want to be thinner".
This actually made me start to cry. When I got this picture I was in such a dark place in my life. I was eating around 1100 calories a day maybe less and working out on top of that. I was thinking what lead me down this road again.
I realized it was all of these programs like Lose It and My Fitness Pal. Apps that state they will help you lose weight.
A few years ago I was at a place in my life where I ate what I wanted but I was "happy" hiding behind food. I wanted to lose weight so I downloaded Lose It, and it said I would lose 2 pounds a week by eating 1200 calories. WHAT A LIE this was. Your body cannot function off of 1200 calories a day just because you want it too. The more you workout the more fuel you need. Loseing weight isn't a simple math forumla of calories in and calories out, if it was I would dead today.
Finally in January of this year I decided that I needed to seek help. I got a really amazing dietician named Lindy, she owns Fit Nut and she has been incredible. With her guidance she has helped me get my eating back on track and refocus my goals.
I realized that I needed help when I stepped onto a treadmill in November to go for a run and I couldn't even make 20 minutes. I was so tired and beat up. I knew I shouldn't be feeling like this. I wasn't losing weight and I was actually gaining even though I was physically active. I could still push myself through Nike Training Club.
Today I eat around 1500 - 1800 calories a day. Sometimes I have days where I eat 2100. Do I worry. No I don't, why? My meals are all made up of clean food. This helps me stay full throughout the day. Honestly, I eat around 6 times a day no matter what I am doing. If I am going to the mall I put nuts in my bag just in case I am longer than expected. I always eat after a run/workout.
I look at where my body is today and where it was a year ago and I am so happy that I found my way out of that dark hole. Eating disorders are not to be laughed about or made fun of, they are a very real disease and most often they strike women and disguise themselves as eating healthy until you fall into that dark hole.
I have days where I don't care about what I eat. I eat whatever I want. I allow myself this becasue I find I am much happier this way. If I want a cupcake on this day I eat it. If I want a bagle I eat it.
I am now training for my first marathon. There is no way I could run a marathon on 1100 calories. I think calorie restriction is silly only because I have been there. I use my fitness pal now, if I am over my calories I don't freak out anymore. I shrug it off because in all honesty I don't think some application on my iPhone call tell me how much food I need even if I am inputting my calories burned. It doesn't know what I need, it doesn't know my muscle mass, or my bone density, or my water weight. It's guessing. I think by this guessing it is hurting many women out there. If you do use one of these apps please don't take it to heart. If you go over, even on a daily basis, it's ok because you are listening to your body. If you are allowing an online calorie counter dictate your calorie intake, get a book and start a food journal, don't count the calories just write down what you are eating and what time. I think this is more beneficial to a person than calorie counting. The scale does not define your inner or outter beauty.
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